AoT Shorts
by SecretWishX
Summary: A collecting of funny experiences, stories and, role plays from Attack on Titan. Also sometimes romance.
1. Indirect Kiss

**Hello readers! This happened when I had one of my friends over and we did a little role playing. Note this though, I do not support the Bertolt x Annie ship, nor the Eren x** **Annie ship... unless I'm Eren. Which apparently I am. Anyway, this story is titaled "Indirect Kiss." I play** **Eren, my sister plays Levi, and my friend, who has not chosen a penname, plays Bertolt. I shall tell this story as a narrater.**

All was calm in the Scout Headquarters. Everyone else had left to go to social gatherings, levi-ing Eren and Bertolt alone. They sat in the common room, on a leather couch in awkward silence. It was 9:00, the only light cast from the kitchen. Bertolt stood up.

"I'm gonna go get a drink, ok?" He asked.

"I'll come, I thirsty too," Eren answered.

They walked into the kitchen. Bertolt picked up a cup from the counter.

"This is Annie's cup," he smirked, and took a drink.

Eren stared at him in shock. Then quickly shook it off.

"Give me the cup, Bertolt."

Bertolt shook his head. "Annie's cup is mine. You don't want to drink from it now."

"I'm not stupid," Eren shouted, "I know you're just trying to make me think you don't care!"

Bertolt backed up a few steps, hugging the cup to his chest.

"I... I don't know... What you're talking about."

"Give me the cup!" Eren shrieked.

He leapt at Bertolt, trying to wrestle it away from him. Bertolt ran for his life, around the Scout Headquarters, Eren behind him, screaming "Indirect kiss! Indirect kiss!"

Finally, Eren tackled Bertolt, taking the cypuo from his hands. Eren took a bog drink, his quest for an indirect kiss from Annnie, fulfilled.

Levi entered the kitchen taking in the scene: Bertolt in the floor, with a look of anguish on his face, Eren triumphant, having secured a kiss from Annie. His cold calculating eyes settled upon the cup.

"You brats know that, that cup is mine," he smirked.


	2. Levi's Plan

**I just find this** **really funny.**

Setting: Eren's room. Eren is sitting in the bed, reading a book. Levi is cleaning off camera.

"Hey brat," Levi says, walking over to Eren.

Eren knows Levi is talking to him because he acknowledges that he is a brat.

"Um.. Yes Heichou?"

Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Levi I quires, holding the cloth to Eren's face.

Eren does not answer because he is unconscious.

Levi turns and smiles at the camra.

The screen goes dark.

 **I'll leave the rest to your imagination.**


	3. AoT Roomates

**Okay, so a few months ago I made a list of whisk Attack on Titan character would make the best roommate. Here I will list the top three. One is the best, and**

Number One: Annie Leonhardt

This beautiful blond girl is not Number One just because she is my true love. Annie would be an excellent mentor in fighting styles. She could teach me how to spar and help me become stronger. She could also teach me the secrets of Titan Shifting, because, come on, turning into a giant stronger version of myself? Awesome! In addition to that Annie-Sama is also very smart and could help me with my math would teach me how to use 3D Maneuver Gear.

Cons

It would be very awkward living with Annie-Sama because she is very stoic, anti-social, and beautiful. I would try to hug her and get punched in the face. My body would never be found.

Number Two: Mikasa Ackerman

Mikasa would teach me how to spar and help me get stronger. She would also give tips on how to use 3D Maneuver Gear, because I will most likely be a failure at using it.

Cons

Mikasa would always want to hang out with Eren and not pay any attention to me.

Number Three: Corporal Levi

Levi would mentor me in sparring and teach me how on be strong and have fast reflexes. He could also teach me how to be good using 3D Maneuver Gear.

Cons

I would regularly get punched, kicked, and kneed by Levi for making short jokes every other minute. My first words to him would be "Wow you look taller in the anime!"

My second words: "Ow that hurt!"

Also, I have a tendacy to ruffle people's hair who are shorter than me. That sentence was awkward.

Note: Hange is at the very bottom, because let's just assume Annie taught me how to Titan Shift or whatever. I would never go to sleep, even with 42 locks on my door, because I would constantly live in fear of being dissected in my sleep. If I did not learn how to Titan Shift, then Hange would be Number Four. She could mentor me in Titanology and I could participate in experiments on Titans. If I use logic I can conclude that Hange could not become a Squad Leader without having significant skill in 3D Maneuver Gear and combat. She could mentor me in those areas as well.

 **Alright that's the top three AoT roommates. Please review and tell me your to three. And please don't have a character as your top roommate just because you're in love with them.**


	4. Cosplay and Author

**This is video that my sister and I filmed and cosplayed at our house. She played Hange and I played Levi. It is titled "The Theme."**

Setting: Levi is standing in front of a staircase. He is alone and deep in thought.

Offscreen someone shouts "Levi!" Hange runs onscreen.

"Levi! Levi!"

The Corporal sighs. "What do you want Hange?"

"I have a problem! Every morning when I wake up I hear this song. It sounds like-"

The Attack on Titan theme two comes out of nowhere as Levi and Hange stare out into the distance and salute to no one.

The screen goes black.

 **We actually filmed this in one take, without any mistakes.**

 **Okay this doesn't really tie into AoT, but I really wanna tell you guys, so I'm just gonna put in the form of an Author's Note. It is titled "The Pocky Story."**

 **This one when my sister and I had just discovered anime, so Black Butler and Soul Eater were pretty much the only anime we knew. I was cosplaying as Ciel Phantomhive and my sister was cosplaying as Chick-Ciel. We were standing around just talking when a girl, probably about 16 or 17, came up to us and said brightly "I want to Pocky one of the Ciels!"**

 **She was cosplaying as America from Hetalia and looked very much like Ronald Knox from Black Butler.**

 **Now, I knew what Pocky was and my sister did not.**

 **For those who don't know what Pocky is, it is a biscuit stick covered with chocolate, strawberry flavoring, or other yummy favors.**

 **(Except for mochi. I don't like mochi.) Well, there's a game that goes with this Japanese candy. One person hold one end of the candy in their mouth, and the second person holds the other end in their mouth. They eat toward the middle and whoever eats the most wins. Basically, it's a kissing game.**

 **Well, anyway I push my sister forward and said "She wants to Pocky!"**

 **Needless to say, they ended up barely kissing.**

 **My sister is still mad at me, even though this happened in 2014. She approved I could post this.**


	5. Eren's Heart to Heart With Levi

**This short is titled Eren's Heart to Heart With Levi. The inspiration comes from a $1.00 sticker I stuck on my sister's arm.**

One day Eren enters Levi's office. The tiny Corporal sighs as he stares up from his paperwork to see Eren.

What do you want, brat?"

Eren sits down in a chair across from Levi's desk and puts his hands in his lap. He hears a small "Tch!" from Levi? The young Scout nervously crosses his hands.

"Well...Levi... it's just that... it's seems like... you don't think very much of me."

Levi sits back in his chair and puts down the paper work.

"Your point, Jäger?"

"I just want to know what I'm worth to you, Corporal."

The young boy stares up hopefuly into Levi's cold, unforgiving eyes.

Eren later finds himself on the curb in a box labeled "Free."

 **Now remember, "Hey is for horses." Also, the real spelling of Eren's last name is Jäger. The Americanized spelling is "Jaeger" or "Yaeger." It translates gpdirectly from Gereman to "rifleman" or "ranger." Jägers were an elite part of the Hess** **ian army who used sharpshooter rifles to pick of enemies. They were a small group of infantry men much like assassins.**


	6. Uranium

**Well, this started out as Chapter Two of Battle Grounds, but then I got carried away so now it's just a short scene between Hange and Levi. It is titled Uranium.**

It was 2:00 AM. Hange knocked on Levi's door. The short Corporal opened it to see the person who pushed him to the brink day in and day out.

"What do you want, shitty-glasses," he growled.

"Oh, you look adorable when you've just woken up!" She began to speak very fast, "Of course you look adorable when you are sleeping, notthatIwatchyousleep-"

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing! Anyway, you won't believe it, Levi!"

The tendons in Levi's neck tightened. He could put up with Hange in the day, but right now... perhaps a little less than five more seconds before he snapped.

"What do you want?" The Coporal's voice was more threatening now.

Hange lauged. "Ooh, sleepy bear grumpy?"

She pinched him on the cheek and then pranced away, snorting.

"Why the hell are you so happy!?"

Hange came close to him, smiling widely.

"I just discovered... uranium!"

On Levi's face was a pure nightmarish look.

Hange's body was never found.

 **Well that was random. *Derp Face.***


	7. Not a Drop

**This is a scenario my sister, brother, and I actually cosplayed at our house and filmed. I played Levi, my brother played Eren, and my sister was the cameraman. I will list bloopers and deleted scenes after the story. If I ever get a YouTube channel this will be one of my first videos posted! Now, without further ado, this short is titled "Not a Drop."**

Setting: A kitchen in the Scout Dining Hall. Eren is eating soup, alone.

Eren suddenly spills a drop of soup on the table. He shrugs and keeps on eating. A black, blurred shadow drops from above and slams onto the table. It wears a green scout cape. The table rattles and Eren flinches. The shadow lifts it's head. It is Levi. His eyes are hidden in darkness. Eren is speechless.

Levi stares Eren in the eyes. He picks up Eren's spoon and sips some soup. The Corporal puts his hand behind Eren's ear and with a flourish pulls out a napkin. He flounces it in Eren's face, then dabs traces of soup from the corner of Eren's lips. Levi balls the napkin and throws it at Eren. It hits him in the face.

He leaps of the table and prances away.

Behind the Scenes

To make it look like Levi had dropped from no where, I stood on top of a chair and leapt down onto the table. My sister stood at an angle so that when I jumped down it looked awesome. To be Levi I had my hair tied back and slicked back with water. My ponytail was tucked into the back of my shirt. Surprisingly, I looked like Levi. I wore a white butten up shirt and black pants. I had my sisters' green Scout jacket tied around my neck to look like the capes they wear in the anime. I also put sharpie around my eyes because Levi looks like he wears eye shadow.

My brother had hair that looked like Eren's so all we did was put a tan Scout shirt on him.

Bloopers

I (Levi) had just finished wiping Eren's face. I leapt of the table singing "Off to see the wizard. The wonderful wizard of Oz!"

Another time I leapt off the table shouting, "The vampire leaps into the night, searching for its prey!"

Just picture Levi doing that.

Now, if any of you have tried to film videos you know the curse of the camera. Or maybe my sister and I can't keep ourselves together. Whenever the camera turns on we just can't stop laughing. This video is one of our two only successful cosplay videos. Well, we did try and film an Artemis Fowl movie trailer, but the curse of the camera never permitted it. My brother kept laughing while eatin the "soup," which was actually just water, and almost choked himself. No Eren's were harmed during the making of this video...that much.

Levi smiles mysteriously. The screen goes black.

 **To this day the videos of "Theme" and "Not a Drop" still exist, but are not available to the public.**


	8. Anger Management

**Well, as you may or may not know, today, August 25 is National Kiss and Makeup Day! I thought that I'd write a short, fluffy ErenxLevi fanfiction for all you Ereri fans! :) *Blows you a kiss* So, without further ado, I present, Anger Management!**

 **Message: To you whose death threats make me smile: It's been driving me crazy that you don't know who I am. You're smart enough to figure it out. ;)**

A meeting was taking place in the Scout Quarters Common Room. Levi was standing next to the fireplace, which was not lit, with a cup of tea in his hand. Eren was leaning against the arm of the couch, on which Jean, Armin, and Mikasa sat. Hange sat in a chair across from them.

"Okay," she said, "Here's the deal. Half of the Survey Corp has been lost to the titans in the past few months. We need new soldiers; more recruits. Any ideas?"

" Why can't I just go out there and kill titans?"

Everyone turned to look at Eren.

"Just let me outside the wall and I'll kill any Titan that comes near the Corp."

Levi took a sip from his cup of tea.

"Absolutely not, Jäger."

"For once I agree with Captain Squeky-Clean over there," Mikasa was the only one who dared make fun of his cleaning obsession, well besides Hange, "It's too dangerous, and besides you can't even transform on orders, Eren."

Levi smirked.

"Miss Yundere has a point. It wouldn't even work. Moving on-"

"No!"

Eren had a fiery look in his eyes. He was no longer leaning against the wall, instead standing straight, his hands tightened into fists.

A dangerous look flared into Levi's eyes.

"Don't interrupt me, brat."

Mikasa made a move to stand, but Armin held her back.

"Calm down," Jean said to Eren.

"Shut up, Horse-Face!" Eren shouted at Jean, suddenly extremely angry and frustrated, "My rage against the Titans will fuel my powers! I can kill all of them!"

"No," Levi stepped forward, climatically calm.

"Shut up!"

The room suddenly became silent as Eren realized he'd overstepped his boundaries. No one said shut up the Corporal Levi.

"I'm sorry, Corporal, I-"

But Levi had already crossed the room, his eyes dark, as he swiftly punched Eren in the stomach.

The young Scout doubled over and Levi exited the room.

...

Eren leaned against the cold stone wall of the torch-lit hallway. Guilt had been clouding his mind since the incident, which had been only a few hours before.

 _Damn it. I let my anger get out of check!_

Then his remorseful thoughts turned to resentment.

 _Well, Levi did too! He needs to-_

Footsteps clacking down the stone corridor interrupted his train of thought. He looked up to see Levi walking down the hallway, eyes cold and purposeful like Jaws approaching his prey.

Eren looked away, up, to the left, then too the right. As the footsteps came closer, the ground became the most interesting thing in the world. Then they stopped right in front Eren.

 _Don't look up. Don't look up. Don't look-_

A hand tilted Eren's chin level to cut-glass, no-mercy eyes. The young Scout was petrified. They stayed like this for a few seconds, Eren frozen with fear, Levi silent and foreboding.

Then suddenly the Coproral's mouth was mashed against Eren's, the smaller warm body against his. Eren's green eyes were wide;

he knew he should be pulling away, he shouldn't want this, but a forbidden thought fleeted through his mind and controlled his body.

 _This feels... kinda... nice... right._

And Eren found himself kissing Levi back, running his fingers through Levi's hair, feeling the rough undercut and silky bangs.

Levi responded by moving in closer, his body fitting perfectly with the curves of Eren's. He cupped Eren's face with his hands and pushed the young Scout's mouth to his roughly.

Eren's hands unbuttoned the top of Levi's shirt, hands pressed against the Coproral's hard, well defined chest.

 _Damn, he smells good._

Levi pushed Eren up against the wall, fumbling with the boy's Scout jacket (which was the only time he'd been know to fumble), trying to take it off.

Eren nibbled at Levi's ear, but the Corporal forced Eren's mouth to his, and they were almost one as the pair frantically, violently made out.

After what seemed forever in heaven, albeit a hot, steamy heaven, Levi stepped back. His face was red, his hair mussed. Eren too, was disheveled, panting and sweaty. The Corporal tucked his shirt back in and smoothed it out. Eren did this too, try to make it look like nothing had happened.

He was interrupted by Levi putting a hand by Eren's head and trapping the boy against the wall, a smirk on his lips, flint in his eyes.

"Let's do this again some time."

Eren smiled, then reached out a hand to Levi's rumpled hair.

In a split second Eren's wrist was twisted behind his back and he was pushed up against the wall, face pressed painfully on the stones. Levi leaned close to Eren's ear and hissed,

"If you ever tell anyone about this, Jäger, I'll kill you."

Then he turned and strode away, buttoning he top buttons of his shirt, and although he fought to keep his face straight, the Corporal couldn't help a small, barely noticeable smile that graced his usually firm lips.

 **Well that wasn't fluffy at all! Sorry** **to those who were hoping for some fluff, but got a hot steamy make out session instead. My serious, most since rout apoligies. Also, new chapter tomorrow. Oh yeah! I finally figured out how to spell "tomorrow." Aren't you proud of me?**


	9. Nicknames

**This is something my sister and I played with on the bus. It's a funny scenario titled "Nicknames." Sorry for not updating sooner! I didn't have any inspiration! Please review and tell me what you think!**

Setting: The Scout Quarters Common Room. Levi is sitting, legs crossed, on a worn, black leather couch reading a fashion magazine. Eren is sitting across from him, perched excitedly on the edge of a brown reclining chair. A glass coffee table separates them.

The young Scout scoots forward, his eyes shining.

"Yeah, so I was thinking I should have, like a nickname, ya know, like a title my fans- people know me by because of my awesome powers. I thought of some, so here's what I got."

He smiles widely.

"Titan Boy. What'd ya think?"

Levi adjusts his position and keeps on reading.

"You don't like it? Okay, I got more. Listen here, Super Defeater-er of Titans, eh?"

Eren spreads his arms wide, as if presenting an amazing invention, which he thought he was.

Levi turns a page in his fashion magazine.

"Okay... um... Ooh! Savior of Humanity!"

"Don't go stealing my title, Jäger."

"Fine... um, Titan Man!"

"Tch, there's only one man here."

"Hange?"

"No. Shut up."

"Alright, I got a few more... hold on..uhh T-"

Levi smirks. "Hange's Pet?"

"Yeah... wait, no! I'm not a dog!"

Suddenly Hange pops up from behind the couch.

"What's that , Levi? You're finally letting me get a dog?!

"Yes," he points at Eren, " a little female one."

"Really!?"

"No. We all know what happened to the last pets you had."

Levi remembers the fish Hange forgot to feed and the cat she tried to feed to a titan. The Titanoligist slinks disappears out of the room, and slinks into another room.

Glad that it is finally silent, Levi sits back and opens his magazine back up. He is interrupted by Eren again.

"Hey Levi, are you my sidekick?"

Eren's body is never found.


	10. Hot Mikasa

**Okay, so whenever my friends and I roleplay, we come up with these hilarious scenarios. I decided to tell these online. This actually happened to me, though names have been changed to protect the innocent 'n stuff. This short is titaled "Hot Mikasa"**

It was 2:20, in the middle of 7th period, science. I had finished all my work early, like I do all the time, so I was using the computer to look up Aot memes, like I always do. Every time I find a funny anime meme I save it to show my friends later.

What I didn't know was that every picture saved didn't save on my account, it saved on the teacher's. (I am not computer savvy)

Savvy. I like that word. It sounds nice. It looks cool...

Okay! Back on track!

Anyway, the room is quiet, because everyone in working on their projects. Apparently people tell me I'm smart. All of a sudden I hear a shout from across the room.

"Hey SecretWishX, what's 'Creepy Nakamura?'"

Earlier this week, I had looked up some cosplay and found this really creepy picture of Nakamura from Flowers of Evil. I had labeled it "Creepy Nakamura."

Well, I answer back: "It's just an anime thing."

Then it dawns on me: "Hey! What are you dining on my account!?"

"We're not on your account; we're on the teacher's!"

"What!?"

"All the pictures you saved on here are right on Mr. Smith's account!"

Oh no, I think.

Then, the loudest shout of all, "WHAT'S HOT MIKASA?!"

i had saved a cute picture if Mikasa in a maid dress with Eren looking at her, nose bleeding. As a joke I had labeled it "Hot Mikasa."

Now, when I get embaressed my face gets super red, and this is not an exaggeration. I get very hot, if you touch my skin, you will have to pull your hand away, because it is so hot.

Well, my otaku friend, Sasha, decides to make things worse: "That's SecretWish's anime crush!"

 **In case you're wondering, I did not get in trouble, though my otaku friends had a good laugh about this, as did my science class at my extremely red face. Not sure if this counts as a fanfiction... But oh well!**


	11. Old Married Couple

**So, on the way to camp I came up with this scenario, and I hope you guys find it entertaining. Please please please review! I love reading reviews! So without further ado, I present"Old Married Couple!" ;)**

It was late, the fire had flickered down low, still providing light to the room, albeit a dim glow. Most of the trainees had gone to bed, leaving Hange and Levi alone in the commen room.

The Corporal was sitting at the wooden table, cup of tea in hand. He was deep in thought, or as Hange would say, "brooding."

Speaking of Hange, she was in an armchair a few feet away, book in hand. She suddenly snapped it shut, sat back, crossed one leg, and spread her arms out on the sides of the chair.

"Heeey Levi,"she said in a tone that suggested she was going to say something either extremely stupid or highly inappropriate.

"What?"

Levi took a sip of his tea and mentally steeled himself. Statistically, it was going to be highly inappropriate.

"Whatd' ya think would happen if we got married?"

Ah. Yes.

"No way, Shitty-glasses, your fucked up genes would mess up my children."

"What!? You mean OUR children."

"What children?"

"Our _love_ -children," a starry look came to Hange's eyes, "not yet material... but soon to be."

"Shut up."

The nearest thing to Levi was a half empty cup. He threw it at the Squad Leader, and she deftly caught it, liquid sloshing inside.

To Levi's disgust she took a drink for it, then loudly announced,

"This tastes like backwash!"

"Your filthy."

"I know, now back to the subject of our children, I-"

"I thought I told you to shut up."

Hange pouted for a moment, then a manical look came to her eyes.

"Look at us, arguing like an old married couple!"

Levi scowled.

"I'm going to bed. Stay up till dawn for all I care."

Hange smiled.

"Would you like some warm milk, my dear?"

Levi's scowl deepened.

"You know, milk. That white stuff you must've missed out on as a child. Didn't your mother tell you to drink milk so you would grow up big and strong?

But obviously you only got half of the equation..." She wondered to herself.

A shadow looming over the Titanoligist quieted her musings. Levi stood over Hange, an uncommon sight.

His eyes were dark and glinted dangerously. Hange laughed nervously.

"You know, I think I'm gonna go to bed. Heh, heh..."

She was in mortal danger, yet couldn't reist one more crack at Levi.

"Unless you wanna come with me and make our love children a reality?"

He didn't.

 **No idea what I just wrote. 0.o But I know one thing for sure, reality is already scary enough without mini Hangies running around.**


	12. Glasses Glare

**I just got this idea, and I'm so excited to share it with you guys! My sister and I played around with this a lot, because we always try to achieve glasses glare. You know, when a character in an anime's glasses shine and that look either really cool or really creepy?**

 **Well, anyway, thank you to all my readers, I love you Reader-Chans! As always, please** **please please review and I hope you all love it!**

Levi walked into Hange's room with some paperwork, his hand over his eyes. He knew it was best to enter her room like this, not from personal experience, but he'd heard the horror stories.

"Hange," he called, stepping blindly forward, hoping he wasn't going to step on anything that she'd touched.

Hange germs. How horrible.

Instead of an answer that made sense, he heard the familiar voice say clearly and slowly, "Glaare."

Puzzled, Levi uncovered his eyes.

Hange he was siting at her dresser, face nearly crushed against the mirror.

"Glaaaaare," she enunciated clearly, her eyes wide and face strained, "Glarrrre."

Levi watched her repeat the word "glare" serval times before making his presence known to the Titanoligist.

"Ahem. Hange."

She jumped about a foot in the air and turned to him.

"Woah! Short-stuff, you scared me!"

Levi frowned and advanced toward Hange.

"I have the paperwork you requested."

She absentmindedly nodded and turned back to the mirror, staring at it as if she was trying to produced lasers from her eyes.

"Glare," she said.

"Staring at yourself and saying "glare" is not going to make you have glasses glare," Levi said, becoming annoyed with Hange's antics.

She turned and stared at him, surprised he knew that was what she was doing.

 _I know her too well_ , he thought.

"Are you sure about that," Hange asked, narrowing ever eyes.

At first Levi thought she was inquiring about the statement he'd just thought, then realized that was stupid, and the question was posed to his earlier statement.

Hange turned her head in different, exaggerated poses, pursing her lips, attempting to look scientific. With each cock of her head Hange repeated the word "glare," and looked in the mirror. She tilted her head back, trying to get the lighting in the room to produce a glasses glare, but instead succeed in looking like an idiot, which wasn't that hard for her.

 _Some people are naturals_ , Levi thought, becoming bored with Hange's antics.

"You're acting stupid, Shitty-Glasses," he told her.

"Well, that's not fair, "Hange pouted, "if you wore glasses you could get the creepy glasses glare in five seconds. Don't you see this is important to my identity as the mad scientist?!"

She stood, looking as if she was going to say an inspiring speech, fire in her eyes.

"How am I, Dr. Zöe Hange, going to achieve my true self without the help of the glare? How am I supposed to creep anyone out without it?"

At this Levi smirked and thought that she could do that without the glasses glare. Wandering the halls in just her pajama top after staying up for three days straight investigating Titans with a scalpel looking for "research subjects" tended to creep out the general population.

His thoughts were interrupted as Hange continued her Independace Day speech.

"How may I dissect things without it! I am an insult to scientists everywhere. For how can an evil laugh truly be evil without the glare?"

She looked into the distance and raised her hand, as if grasping the inspiring words from the heavens.

"How can I infect small children with nightmares without it? For without the glare I am nothing. For without it I will fall short of true scientific discovery."

Hange bowed her head and bought her once raised hand to her chest, as if grasping her heart and trying to tear her despair away. Her voice nearly broke as her eyes became glittery.

"How...can I ever be...truly great...without it."

And for a second she stood on that position, eyes closed, face a mask of failure. An imaginary crowd watched her with tears in their eyes and cheered.

Suddeny Hange's head popped up and she bounced back, like a demented puppet, a manically smile on her face.

"Toss me that lamp, will ya?"

Levi obliged and tossed a desk lamp over to Hange. It hit her in the side of the head.

"Ow! That hurt!"

She pouted for a moment then turned on the lamp and shone it in her face.

"Glaaaaaaaaaaarrrrree."

 **Well, that was melodramatic.**


	13. The Scoop

**Apologies** **, Reader-San. I have no idea what I just wrote. Sorry for not updating sooner, but expect more updates of not only this story, but the others. Please enjoy this short short. I played with this idea with my brother and sister. Expect more! Now, without further ado, I present, "The Scoop."**

It had been Hange's idea to go out for ice cream, and also her idea for Levi to pay for it. Levi pretended to be reluctant, but some ice cream did sound good. It was a hot day, and after long hours spent training, a frozen treat sounded like the most appetizing thing in the world. Eren was with them, and they walked over to the small ice cream shop. It had just opened, and the workers were unaware of the danger that approached and rang the little bell on the door as they entered. The group walked forward to order, the cashier nervous. It was his first day on the job, and the short mean looking man and the salivating bespectacled woman seemed foreboding.

"Hi," he said, "What would you like to order?"

"Strawberry," Levi said in a monotone, to which Hange burst into giggles.

"Wouldn't it be better to get vanilla? If you got that, no one would see it if you spilled," she grinned.

"Tch," Levi muttered, then turned back to the confused looking cashier, "I would like it in a waffle cone."

The cashier, a young looking brunette boy, nodded, then asked," Small, medium, or large?"

Behind Levi, Hange once again couldn't hold back her giggles, and Eren was having a hard time too. Levi turned, his silver eyes flashing, "Shut up or we're going home! Then no ice cream for you!"

Hange immediately stopped, a stupid smile still on her face, Alright...mom." She snorted into her hand.

"Medium," Levi answered the cashier, then motioned for Hange to order. She walked forward, her face suddenly serious.

"I would like chocolate," she said, "Three scoops, large waffle cone, lotsa sprinkles, annnnnd..." she tapped her chin, "as much whipped cream as you can possibly fit onto the cone." She leaned close, glasses glare intimidating the cashier as she grinned creepily, "And remember, anything is possible." With that she stepped back as the cashier nodded frantically.

Eren walked up, wishing Mikasa or Armin was there. "Um, hi," he smiled, "Can I please get a scoop of pistachio ice cream on a medium waffle cone with some sprinkles and a cherry?"

The cashier nodded, this one seemed normal out of the daunting crowd of three that practically took up the whole shop. "That'll be 7.59."

Levi gave the cashier some cash, and they waited a few moments before receiving their ice cream. While they waited, Hange leaned against the counter, waggling her eyebrows at the flustered cashier. "You come here often," she asked.

"Um...I uh..work here," was the nervous answer as Levi shoved Hange out of the way and asked for extra napkins.

Finally they got their ice cream and proceeded to eat at a table outside of the small shop. It was a pleasantly warm day with few clouds and a bright sun. A small breeze caused the slightest of chills. Levi secretly enjoyed the nice weather and lounged in his chair, resisting the urge to prop his feet up on the table. He endured the ridiculous slurping noises coming from Hange and watched the slow traffic. He bit into the cold scoop of strawberry ice cream, finding that it wasn't to bad.

"Ugh," Eren frowned, "How do you bite into cold things?"

"You don't, "Hange answered as she rested her elbows on Levi's head.

"Get off," he growled.

She ignored him grinned. "You eat it like this!" Hange stuck out her long tongue and licked the top scoop, nearly pushing it off the other. It slid forward, as if in slow motion. Everyone watched in horror as it fell. Eren hardly had time to yell, "HANGE-" before it plopped onto Levi's head. The world froze, as if stopping to observe the sudden sight, a short angry man getting more enraged as the seconds passed with a melting scoop of chocolate ice cream on his head. Hange gasped, unsure whether to run and scream or burst into laughter. She never did really grasp the gravity of some situations.

Levi stood up, face hidden in shadows. A drip of chocolate slid down his cheek. His hand shot out and gripped Hange's cone. She laughed nervously, "Heheh...it's ok, right Levi, ice cream doesn't stain hair, right?"

The Corporal did not answer, but simply shoved the cone into Hange's face. She jumped away, face covered in chocolate and wh-

"I GOT WHIPPED CREAM UP MY NOSE," she screeched, dancing into the street.

Levi smirked. "Don't get hit by a car, you'll mess up your face even more." He licked his ice cream.

Eren watched the scene in shock, hoping that he would not be next to experience the Corporal's wrath, and wondering what getting whipped cream up your nose felt like. Hange recovered and sneezed out whipped cream onto Eren's shoes. The ice cream shop workers cowered behind the counter in terror.

"Gross!" he yelled and jumped up.

"Tch," Levi muttered and wiped the ice cream from his head.

Hange giggled and walked up to Levi, who still held her cone. "Can I have that back?"

"No," Levi answered and dropped it on the ground.

Hange's eyes widened as she watched her precious ice cream fall and splatter. She charged towards Levi, compensation was in order! He held her away with one arm as she struggled to reach his cone. He simply kept licking it calmly. Hange sat down and pouted. Levi looked at her, then averted his eyes.

"Here," he said gruffly and handed her a few bills, "Get yourself another one."

Hange's eyes lit up as she accepted it, "Oh Corporal, thank you, thank you, th-"

Levi cut her off with a glare. "I don't need you pouting all the way back to HQ. This won't become a regular thing, so shut up about it."

Hange smiled and skipped away while Eren watched in awe.

"What are you looking at brat," Levi asked."

"N-nothing, sir," Eren stuttered and went back to eating his ice cream.

Hange skipped back, another three scooped cone in her hand. "Hey Levi," she asked, waggling the foot tall frozen treat, "ya wanna see me fit this whole thing in my mouth?"

Levi sighed and stared at her. She shoved the ice cream cone into her face and managed to do it, much to the disgust of Eren. The young scout left the table, his face a bit green.

"How the hell did you do that," Levi asked.

Hange smiled mysteriously and danced around the table,"I got skiiiiiillles," she said before tripping and falling on her face.

Levi smirked and finished his ice cream. He sprinkled some napkins on Hange and left, feeling oddly content. He only wished that he'd gotten Hange eating the giant cone in one bite on camera. It was similar to watching an anaconda eat an animal whole. That scene, however, gave Eren nightmares for the next few months. The ice cream shop employees all agreed that the work day was over, locking the door and flipping the sign to CLOSED.


	14. Starts With L, Ends With E

**I don,t know...what is this? Basically, after he and Petra share their first kiss...which is not included in this chapter, he gets up the next morning and Hange and Erwin catch on that something is different with him. Unfortunately for our favorite shorty, they figure out what it is! Now, I present to you, "Starts With L, Ends With E."**

 **Please R &R!**

Levi got up that morning in a good mood. How odd. For a second her paused to ponder his disposition, then he remembered. Last night. Petra. He almost smiled, but caught himself. Instead the Captain got up and got ready for the day, showering and dressing himself. He was done at exactly 6:00.

Levi walked to the common room, his shoes echoing in the empty stone corridors. The quiet mummer of voices warned him that at least two soldiers were awake. He fixed his expression into a poker face entered. Hange and Erwin were present, the latter leaning against the marble counter while Hange sat at the table. Both had steaming cups of tea.

"You two are up early," Levi commented, walking further into the room.

"Hiiiiii, Levi!" Hange said cheerfully.

"Tch. How can someone be so loud in the morning," he frowned.

Erwin chuckled. "Good morning you too, Captain. We made some tea."

"Thank you," he murmured, heading to the counter where a pot of tea currently resided. Hange spit her mouthful of tea back into her cup.

Levi reached it and slowly poured himself a cup, not noticing the gaping mouths of both Hange and Erwin. He. turned, taking a long sip, then noticed their shocked faces. "What?"

"You said thank you." Erwin's eyebrows furrowed in puzzlement. "You never say thank you when we make you tea."

"Yeah," Hange said.

"Don't get used it," Levi muttered, taking a seat at the table.

For a few moments it was quiet when Hange dropped a small bomb. "You know, Petra told me something quite interesting last night."

Levi was in the middle of a drink and he choked on it. "What?"

"Uh huh, she told me that there was this awesome place to practice using 3DMG gear a few miles into the forest. She said it was really..."

He tuned out Hange's mindless chatter and breathed an internal sigh of relief. Petra and Hange were roommates, or as Hange liked to say "roomies." For the next few moments the only sounds in the room were the sipping of tea, but the churning gears in Erwin's mind could almost be heard. Suddenly he straightened up.

"Aha, I realize what's up."

"Oooooh...what?" Hange asked.

"Levi is sick."

This time Levi sighed out loud. "No, I am not, Commander. assure y-"

"Really!? What does he have?" Hange asked this excitedly, leaning across the table to stare at Levi.

"Nothi-" Again Levi was cut off, but this time it was by Erwin.

"He has a sickness, a four letter word that starts with 'L' and ends with 'E.'"

"Ooh Ooh! I know!" Hange said, eyes shining. She raised her hand, spilling a bit of her tea.

Levi rolled his eyes. Of course she did. Erwin could not have made it anymore obvious.

"Yes, Hange?" The Commander asked with a small smile.

"LICE."

Immediately the smile fell and Erwin face palmed. Levi smirked.

"No Hange...think some more. How do you feel about Sonny and Bean," Erwin asked, his deep voice slow.

"I love them-Ooooooooo!" Her eyes lit up as something clicked.

Erwin sat back with a self satisfied smile as Hange grinned evilly. "So, Levi, tell me about Petra."

"Tch. You've known her for years. Tell me about her." Levi realized his mistake as soon as the words left his mouth.

"Weeeellll," Hange said, "I know that she likes you." She giggled.

Levi sighed and took another sip of his tea, though there was a barely noticeable pink tinge to his cheeks. Unfortunately, Hange noticed.

"Leeeeeviiii, you're blushing!"

"I have a cold."

"A cold? Didja catch it from P-P-Petraaa?"

"No, shitty-glasses. I-"

It was at this point that Petra entered, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Morning," she yawned. "I heard my name...what are you guys talking about?"

Hange grinned. "We've been discussing the best alliteration ever! Loving Lev-"

Suddenly both Hange and Levi are gone from the room in a blur. Petra blinks at the door, which was swinging slightly. "What?"

Erwin motions for her to sit down. "So, Petra, have I discussed Levi's illness with you?"

 **Hope you guys liked it! Please review!**


	15. AoT: Jingle Bells

**Happy Holidays, AoT fans! This is a parody of "Jingle Bells," titled... "AoT: Jingle Bells." Wow...didn't see that coming...anyway! I hope you like, and as always, PLEASE leave a review! As some of you are authors yourselves, you know how awesome reviews are! They make me so happy! So..yeah, just plase leave one...ok, here it is! Expect more parodies in the future!**

AoT: Jingle Bells

Jingle bells

Eren smells

Hange went away

Levi few and inch or two

And the Titans were all slated

Hey!

Swinging through the air

On my 3DMG

Making Levi mad

By getting all dirty

Hearing Eren rage

Watching Sasha eat

Thinking to myself:

Erwin's eyebrows are on fleek!

Oh!

Jingle bells

Mike smells

Krista is a god

All of us from AoT say

Happy Holidays!


	16. Nonsense

**Happened to be on . Found a meme. Was inspired. Enjoy, and DO try this at home… (Just kidding XD)**

It was ten o clock. Survey Corp common room. The couches, chairs, and table had been pushed to the outer edges of the room so Hange's Drinking Dice Game of Destruction could commence. And the apocalypse.

The dice were big, foam, and all different colors with the commands written in white on the sides. This game was notorious. Especially when Erwin, Hange, and Levi played together.

There was an array of different alcoholic drinks, as well as some other liquids scattered around them, and all were mildly drunk.

Yes, they had been blackmailed into doing this, and if they did not play the game up to Hange's standards, then some very… important information would be released.

"Roll, roll, roll," Hange chanted as Erwin gripped the four dice before scattering them across the floor. They read

YOU. TAKE A SHOT OF TEQUILA. AS SEXY AS YOU CAN. THEN DO 5 CRUNCHES.

Hange fell backwards, howling with laughter, and even Levi hid a small chuckle with his hand. Erwin sighed and poured himself a shot and then looked straight at Hange and Levi, lifting one enormous eyebrow and then the other. And then wiggling them. And then doing to wave.

Finally, he stood, stripped off his shirt, and then started dancing seductively on the couch.

"Drink it!" Hange shouted, snorting.

Erwin complied, taking a sip and then pouring the rest on himself. He then dropped to the floor and did the crunches.

"Levi next!" Hange commanded, and Levi sighed, prayed for something not so embarrassing, and then rolled. They read:

YOU. TAKE A SHOT OF HOT SAUCE. WHILE PRETENDING TO THROW A PUNCH. THEN DANCE LIKE YOU'RE A TITAN.

"How the fuck do I dance like a titan," Levi said with a sneer.

"Just do it!" Hange yelled.

"Do it," Erwin said, perfectly serious, but his voice hinted that he found these commands to be extremely entertaining.

Levi sighed, stood, took the bottle of hot sauce and poured himself a shot. He tilted his head back and swallowed it in one gulp, wincing at the intense spice. As he did it, he half heartedly punched the air, and then threw down the glass before swinging his head to one side and prancing around the room. Yes, yes he was the Fabulous Titan, and he kicked his legs up and to the side just like he was kicking her in the face again.

"I did it, shitty glasses," he said, disgusted. "You're turn."

Hange whooped and threw the dice on the ground. They read:

LEVI. DRAIN THE NEAREST CONTAINER TO YOU. WHILE TWERKING. AND THEN CONFESS YOUR LOVE TO PETRA.

Levi slowly turned his head to Hange, eyebrow ticking. "You planned it," he hissed.

Hange snickered and shook her head. "You must obey the dice!"

Levi growled and picked up the nearest container, which just so happened to be a large jug of beer. He drank it in one gulp, stood, and then proceeded to start twerking

"Let's go," he said darkly, walking down the hallway to where the rooms where.

Hange and Erwin hid their smiles and followed, watching from behind the corner as Levi knocked on the door.

Petra opened it a few moments later, in her nightgown and looking tired. "Yeah Levi," she yawned.

"Look, Petra. I wanted to say that I love and always have," Levi said, staring into her eyes, which widened in surprise.

"W-what?"

"I'm not going to repeat myself," Levi said flatly, and then pulled her into a quick kiss.

Hange and Erwin turned to each other and high fived. The plan had worked.


End file.
